Making Friends As An Adult

Do you remember the good old days were all you had to do was sit down in class next to someone and BAM, you were best friends. It was like magic and I’ve been struggling with/failing at finding that again. Making friends as an adult is like pulling teeth. It’s a process you have to hype yourself up to do. It usually costs you money you weren’t expecting to spend and it rarely goes as planned. Sometime’s it’s painful and sometimes it leaves you feeling goofy. The whole process is bothersome if you ask me, and yet…I find myself trying.

Growing up I was socially awkward. It wasn’t until college that I become somewhat cool and even with that, I’m pretty aware that I’m a huge weirdo but at least I accept that part of myself. Embrace your weirdness. Own it. It’ll boost your self-esteem, trust me. But anyway, I’ve come to realize part of the reason I’m having a hard time making more friends as an adult is because I don’t get out much. It’s like I said before, back in the old days I made the majority of my friends by sitting next to them. Part of that was because I was so shy I couldn’t walk up to people and talk to them. We had to be forced to interact (group projects, sharing a workspace, etc.) in order for me to talk to people. Once I started talking, I usually made friends. I am a likable person and if someone didn’t like my personality, they liked how smart I was and how that could benefit them. I’ve come to realize I probably would not have made as many friends and acquaints as I did had I not been forced to be in a building with them 8 hours a day.

By the time I made it to college, I was aware of this. Most of the friends I have from college are all people that lived on my dorm floor freshman year. Sure, I made a few more friends hanging out with them and meeting their friends and every now and then I made a friend by going to an event on campus and bonding over something we both enjoyed but all of this is hard to recreate outside the magical grounds of a college campus or a school building. At work, I try to be friendly but I also try not to befriend my coworkers. It’s nothing personal, I just believe it’s good to keep your personal/social life separate from your work/professional life. So outside of work and work-related events, I rarely contact my coworkers.

But even with all of those obstacles, the biggest problem I’ve run into when it comes to making new friends is scheduling issues. Want to go see a movie Wednesday night? No, I can’t, I have to work. Want to eat dinner at my house on Saturday? Sorry, can’t do that, I already have something planned. What are you doing Monday morning? I have to do the laundry, wash the car, clean the house and go grocery shopping. What about next week? Sorry, I have a funeral to go to.

Yeah. So, even if I manage to meet someone cool I still have to deal with stuff like that.

Why is making friends as an adult so hard?

Welcome To 2017

Welcome to 2017, congratulations for making it through 2016…also known as the year that sucked. Now I’m not the only one that felt that way, there are plenty of people on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Snapchat, and Instagram that felt the same way. But why? Why did 2016 suck so much? I could look at all of the hate, fear, anger, and social anxiety that blossomed and caused America to basically self-implode, but I’m not going to bring that up. Nope. That ugliness is for 2016 and it’s going to stay there, hopefully…just kidding, we’re only 9 days into 2017 and the world has already crapped on a lot of parades but that’s not what this post is about. No, this post is about all the good and positive things that are going to happen in 2017.

I’m Black, young, educated, and talented and I’ll be damned if I don’t shine brightly in 2017. I want to sprinkle Black Girl Magic all over the world, especially all over the lives of my grumpy Facebook friends who are always mad about something. At least when I’m mad about something, usually social issues, I balance my posting with silly memes because I’m the Meme Queen.  But enough of that, let’s get back to the point. 2017 is going to be great. It’s going to be a year that is full of everyone excelling and showcasing what makes them great and how they are bettering society. You can do it. I have faith in the human race and if we don’t, well at least I’m 21 and can drink my way to success and an early grave.

Don’t give me that look. That’s how all the tragically great writers do it. They have really crappy lives, they drink away their sorrows and in glaring moments of sobriety they pour their heart, soul, and misery into their work and then we, the consumer, devour their work and tear it to shreds…and the cycle continues.

But anyway, I’m getting off topic again. 2017. Yes, 2017 is going to be fantastic. This is the year I’m truly going to raise the bar and change my life. I might sound like every person on January the first after they’ve looked over their New Year’s Resolutions but I’m so serious. There are just too many important things that are going to happen in my life this year for me to believe this year isn’t going to be amazing. I graduate from college this year. I’m a first generation Black student that not only finished college but excelled in it. Through my college education, I was able to study abroad and visit multiple countries. Through my college education, I’ve become a stronger and more independent human being and a better person. (Insert brownie points, please.)


I don’t know about you but that’s some great stuff to do before you’re 21 and yes by this point in my life I thought I would have everything mapped out already but I was wrong. Maybe the reason I’m so excited about this year is because this is the year that my adult life truly starts. This will be the first time in 18 years that I will not return to school in the fall. That’s amazing, but freedom comes with responsibility. This is also the first year that I’ll work full-time, start paying on my student loans, start looking at apartments, and take full responsibility for my health insurance… because my mom can’t do that forever.

2017 is also the year that I’ll finally be able to pursue my writing career; make new friends; get braces (as an adult because I was stupid as a kid); travel more; love more; grow more, and just experience life more. Hopefully, you’ll be there with me. Until then, welcome to 2017–the year of adulting.

May 2017 treat you better than 2016 ever did.