Hey everyone… So let me just start off by saying that my next couple of posts will definitely NOT be downers but I need to vent a little. So sorry.
Today sucked. I didn’t have a good day at work. In fact, the past couple of days haven’t been good days. It’s getting to the point where I’m actually starting to wake up and not want to go. That’s a pretty common sentiment, I know, but not for me. If I’m being honest, I like money so much, that thinking about the amount of money I’m going to bring home makes me get ready for work with a smile on my face. Yes, I’m that person–ever smiling and welcoming. But I’m not money hungry, I promise. I just like financial security.
But lately, I’ve been tired and that’s never a good thing.
I’m tired of rude customers. I’m tired of working long shifts without relief or an assisting coworker. I’m tired of rotating schedules. I’m tired of daily policy changes. I’m tired of dismissive behavior from management. I’m tired of the lack of interdepartmental communication. And I’m tired of summer camp and pool parties and day trips and downright mean customers. I’m tired of having to smile and grin as someone yells at me and tries to belittle me.
I’m just tired.
So I have three paths in front of me and I don’t know which one to choose.
Move to Houston, Texas at the end of the summer. This blog is about writing, traveling, and life. Way back in my first post I promised that this summer would be filled with adventure but I didn’t explain what that meant. Well, back in March my cousin who lives in Houston, Texas reached out to me to see if I would like to babysit for him during the summer. I was delighted because I thought it would only be for a week or so. But nope, my cousin wanted me to be a live-in babysitter for the summer. So I thought about it and said yes. Then him, my sister, and my mother started talking and the more they talked the more the plan changed. Suddenly, I wasn’t going down to Houston to babysit, I was going to move down there and try to find a job in a field similar to my degree field because Texas’ economy is so much better than Missouri’s. I don’t have an official move date, but I do have an official move month: September.
Go back to school in August and get my Masters in International Relations. Going back to school was always in my future. The only reason I didn’t apply for graduate school during my last undergraduate semester was because I didn’t think I’d be able to afford it. My alma mater has an accelerated MA International Relations program that allows you to get your degree in eleven months and during those eleven months, you have to travel to five different countries. It’s an intense program and once I heard about it, I knew it was the program for me. But the price tag was sure to be out of my league so I didn’t apply. I recently found out that scholarships would pay for most of the program (hurray) but I would still have to pay for the living expenses (which is understandable). But, due to my previous international travel, I know that conversion rates would really eat through my budget and there would be no way to make up for it other than to take out additional student loans. Taking out additional student loans would put me further into debt and make my goals of paying off my student loans in ten years highly unlikely.
Stay in St. Louis and save up money for a year so that I can afford the additional expenses that would come with traveling internationally for eleven months. This would mean that I’d start grad school in August of 2018. After I graduate in August of 2019, I’d start thinking about where to live and which career paths I’d want to pursue. This path allows me to focus a little on my writing and develop my publishing company. This option would also give me a much needed break from school. But it’s that break that everyone is worried about. My family is worried about me taking a year off (essentially) because they know how hard it is to get back into the groove of school once life starts to happen.
So I have three paths in front of me and I don’t know which one to choose…
[Photo by Tyler B. Humphries/Berlin, Summer 2016.]
My dad died from pancreatic cancer on June 5, 2014. Since then, the 5th of June has always been a day of mourning. My father was well loved and well known so my social media feeds are usually clogged with sad posts that I can’t avoid because everyone tags me, my mother, and my siblings in them. I’m usually surrounded by everyone’s grief and I usually can’t escape it. But this year, I’m doing something different. I’m going to celebrate his life, not mourn his death. I wish I had more pictures of him but he wasn’t a picture taking type of guy. So enjoy this tribute to my father.
I love you dad and I hope you’re proud of what I’ve become.