Hitting 50k, But Losing NaNoWriMo

December 10, 20182 Comments

This was my second year participating in NaNoWriMo and it was also my second year failing NaNoWriMo. This was definitely one of those “fail again, fail better” moments. Last year I was an emotional wreck and I barely made it past three thousand words. This year I was rolling off the high of writing twenty-seven thousand words in the previous month so I assumed I’d be able to hit the fifty-thousand wordmark inside of NaNoWriMo with no issues. After all, I was writing an average of 2,500 words per day. I was feeling so good about everything, I was even going to buy the winner shirt and one of the mugs from the NaNoWriMo website. Looking back on things, I’m thankful I didn’t.

During the first week of November, everything was good. I was even slightly ahead of the NaNoWriMo word count but by week two, I’d nosed dived. I kept trying to get caught up but life kept getting in the way. And by life I mean work; work kept getting in the way. I started a new job in November and it was my first full-time, salaried job. Sure, I’d worked a few eight-hour shifts here and there, before, but never week in and week out. My body and mind had to adjust to being so productive for eight plus hours and then also having to find the energy to come home and write. My daily word count dropped as the days went on, not just because of work but because of all the family activities I had to patriciate in such as birthday parties, cooking for the holidays, family members from out of state coming to visit, and yearly sickness.

By the third week of November I knew I wasn’t going to make it but I was still aiming for at least thirty thousand words and then by the fourth week, I was begging myself for at least twenty-five thousand words and I didn’t even make that but I’m not sad. I did the best I could and most importantly, I enjoyed the journey.

Even though I didn’t write fifty thousand words in November, I did hit the fifty thousand word mark in my story on November 30, 2018 after just two months of writing. If December turns out to be another twenty-something word month, I’ll finish the first draft of my book in a ninety day span of time, which was my personal goal before deciding to participate in NaNoWriMo.

All in all, I hope this serves as a reminder to all the people who didn’t win NaNoWriMo that some words are better than no words. Any words you wrote in November went towards your story and that’s a victory within itself.

First Month In Houston, TX

August 21, 20185 Comments

So I moved to Houston, Texas from St. Louis, Missouri last month and everything went wrong…and right. Let me explain!

I decided to pack my life up into five boxes and move halfway across the country with hopes of getting a better job. St. Louis is small, it’s hard to get jobs, the pay is bad, and I have student loans. So when my cousin approached me for the second time in regards to me moving to Houston, I finally gave in to logic. The original plan was: he would help me move to Houston; my family would drive down to Houston to say their final goodbyes and see where I’ll be living; my cousin would let me crash with him and his family until I moved into my own apartment; my cousin would give me one of his cars; and I would transfer my job down to Houston. That was the plan but things rarely go as planned.

A month before I left St. Louis I found out that the car my cousin was going to give me was damaged and the repairs would cost more than the car was worth (in his opinion). I honestly just believe he wanted me to get a new car because he’s not the type of person to promise you something without looking into it first. Meaning, he would have looked at the car to make sure it wasn’t too damaged before telling me he’d give it to me. It was a 2005 GM Envoy and he thought it was too big and too old of a model for me. So, by the time I made it to Houston, I no longer had a car and I would need to start readjusting my budget for housing because now I would probably also have a car note.

My cousin did allow me to move into the bottom half of his 5-year-old townhouse. It really does feel like my own little apartment down there most days. I have a big bedroom, big windows, a walk-in closet, and a big full bathroom down there. If I’m being honest, my favorite part of my living quarters is that bathroom. It’s gorgeous.

Although I moved to Houston, TX only half of my things did. My mother, brother, sister, and my sister’s husband and children were supposed to drive down to Houston a few days after I flew but after a series of unfortunate events, they couldn’t come. I was already sad about this because I really wanted to see my family one last time, after all, we’d planned for them to drive down here two days after I flew, so we didn’t say all the mushy goodbyes and stuff and when I finally realized I wasn’t going to see or hug them again until probably December, I got very sad. But then I realized that they were also supposed to bring the rest of my things down with them because I could only fly with my big suitcase, my carry on, and my camera bag. My heart sunk even lower. I’d already thrown away so much stuff to get it down to five boxes, but to then lose those too…it hurt.

It also took me a week to realize I didn’t have a job. Yeah, the company I was within St. Louis wasn’t the best place to work, largely because of the pay, but I was still trying to transfer my job to Houston so that I could still have a job. I went through most of the interviewing process while I was still in St. Louis. By the time I made it to Houston, all I had to do was meet up with the director of my department and the facility director. After that, I never heard back from them. It’s been a month and I haven’t even received the little auto-sent message of “the interviewing process will not continue”. If it wasn’t for the fact that I didn’t have a job, I wouldn’t have felt too crappy about the situation as a whole. Like I said, the pay was really low although the same position I had in St. Louis was a salary position down here in Houston, so I won’t talk bad about Houston’s pay, just their communication skills. I spent most of the month walking and cycling in the Houston heat, applying to different jobs near me and luck finally caught up with me last week when I finally got a call-back and within a few days, I was working again. I also have another interview with a full-time job that I really hope I get because working part-time isn’t going to get me a car anytime soon.

There have been other things that have happened but they are more health-related and will get their own posts.

Have you ever planned a trip or made a big life decision that didn’t go as planned? Let me know in the comments below.

And until next time, thanks for reading.

My Last Semester of College Has Left Me Feeling Overwhelmed

March 13, 2017October 1, 20171 Comment

So, way back in the beginning of the year, I started this blog and then fell off the face of the planet. It’s not because I’m one of those people that start things just to never finish them, although that’s been known to happen from time to time. No. I haven’t blogged because my life went from moving at a snail’s pace to New York City during fashion week and it has been very overwhelming.

I started a new job that requires more time than what I originally thought it would. I’m constantly bouncing between my apartment on campus and my mom’s house because my job is closer to her house and I work nights, mostly. This is sort of important because I don’t have a car, so taking public transportation at night in St. Louis—that’s a, “No, no honey!” I thought that I could balance it all because I am only taking 4 courses and I’m only working 20 hours a week, but it couldn’t. The constant strain of always having to do something and always having to be somewhere was driving me crazy.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m well aware of the fact that once I graduate I’ll (hopefully) enter the full-time workforce and you normally have to be somewhere, always doing something, 40 hours a week. And that’s cool. I’ll be fine with that because all I’ll be focused on is my job and maybe a personal writing project. I will not be focused on classes, homework, grades, assignments, work, work-related training and constantly commuting from the city to the county.

(Side note: Have you ever noticed how tired you become after traveling/commuting somewhere? Isn’t it strange? You’re not actively doing the moving, you’re usually sitting in a car/train/bus/boat and yet, you are usually tired afterward. I wonder why.)

Anyway, I graduate from college on May 13. I’m excited about that. I’ve been looking forward to that for years and although I’m unsure about what the future will hold when it comes to how useful my degree is I can honestly say I’m glad I did it. I tried getting a degree in Journalism but I just couldn’t do it. When I was in that program I looked forward to my German courses more than my courses related to my degree. Journalism is a degree field where there are guaranteed jobs, the jobs may not be guaranteed for YOU but they do exist. Film and jobs related to film have to be created in order for you to even attempt to get them. So, I became overwhelmed with the realization that I was getting a degree and getting into debt knowing that I could graduate and never use my degree. That’s a bit stressful. So I decided to get a day job or something I like to call: a practical job. I’m a Membership Service provider at a local YMCA.

I think people get so caught up in trying to work in their degree field when they graduate that they let months and sometimes years go by without getting a job. Sometimes, I feel like we should just swallow our pride and get a job, whether it’s in our degree field or not because it’s the responsible thing to do and we have things to pay for. If you don’t like your job or feel like you paid too much for your education to just let it go to waste, continue looking for a job in your degree field while you’re working your day job/practical job. Be smart. Be humble.

My classes are going fine. I took a self-defense class and although it was short and simple, I do feel safer. I feel like I’m aware of the techniques I could use to defend myself, disarm and disable an attacker, and also walk away from the fight. I’m taking two film studies courses and both of them are related to religion in one way or another…they’re interesting. And I’m doing my senior project. It’s a film about a girl who is dealing with survivor’s guilt after she survives the car crash that killed her sister. And I’m really behind in it. Like, I’ve never been this behind in a project in my life. I’m going to do a separate post on why and how I fell so far behind in that and some people will roll their eyes and think the reasons are stupid and some will truly get it. It’s hard being a creative person. Sure, I’m no painter—I’m a demi-god. I’m a writer and if you don’t think writers’ are demi-gods, answer me this: who else could create entire worlds using only their minds and have millions of people see them as well?

Anyway, if you read this to the end, thank you for letting me vent my frustrations.

If you’re a high school or college senior hit me up in the comment section and let me know what has you overwhelmed.

Also, a message for the people who have followed my blog: I see you and I love you. I will start posting more content; I just had to get my life together first. Plus, I’m going to do some traveling this summer so there will be plenty of posts about that and my post graduation activities.